I just found out one of my college roommates passed away late last night/early this morning. It wasn't a surprise. He had metastatic cancer and it was clear that he was nearing the end.
I hadn't seen or heard from him for roughly 30 years until about a month ago when his brother called me out of the blue to let me know the situation and to invite me to a birthday party he was throwing for him early this month. In the last month, I spoke with my former roommate on the phone a few times and went to see him three times - once at the party and twice at his house.
My wife finally got to meet him at his birthday party after hearing stories about him for years from me and other mutual friends who I did stay in touch with. He was the only one out of our tighter circle of friends that she hadn't met. She would joke that he was like Norm Peterson's wife, Vera, on "Cheers" (or Niles's wife, Mariss, on "Frasier") who never made an appearance on screen, leaving you to wonder if she really existed.
Even minus 100 pounds and in a wheelchair, he was still the same charming, funny, and engaging guy. He and my wife might as well have been lifelong friends after five minutes.
There was never any reason that we lost touch for so long other than that we simply got caught up in our lives in ways that had him in a different place than the rest of us. He was kind of an enigmatic guy who would go in whatever direction without looking back, though he did express regret about losing touch for so long once we all got back together. And, once we did, it was like no time had passed. We might as well have been back in college hanging out in the crappy apartment we all lived in together.
I'm not fishing for condolences with this comment. I just wanted to share something that I think illustrates the weird poignancy that life occasionally throws at you unexpectedly. It's like there was this significant part of my existence that had long been dormant but suddenly woke up to take hold of me and become, at least for a time, the most important focus of my personal life.
I can't find the word for it, but it's something like "heady," only without the thrill, maybe with a bit of "mind-f**k" thrown in.
2025-10-28 23:07:57
Job security is one of the attractive things about working for the government at a lower salary than you likely would in the private sector. So much for that.
I just found out one of my college roommates passed away late last night/early this morning. It wasn't a surprise. He had metastatic cancer and it was clear that he was nearing the end.
I hadn't seen or heard from him for roughly 30 years until about a month ago when his brother called me out of the blue to let me know the situation and to invite me to a birthday party he was throwing for him early this month. In the last month, I spoke with my former roommate on the phone a few times and went to see him three times - once at the party and twice at his house.
My wife finally got to meet him at his birthday party after hearing stories about him for years from me and other mutual friends who I did stay in touch with. He was the only one out of our tighter circle of friends that she hadn't met. She would joke that he was like Norm Peterson's wife, Vera, on "Cheers" (or Niles's wife, Mariss, on "Frasier") who never made an appearance on screen, leaving you to wonder if she really existed.
Even minus 100 pounds and in a wheelchair, he was still the same charming, funny, and engaging guy. He and my wife might as well have been lifelong friends after five minutes.
There was never any reason that we lost touch for so long other than that we simply got caught up in our lives in ways that had him in a different place than the rest of us. He was kind of an enigmatic guy who would go in whatever direction without looking back, though he did express regret about losing touch for so long once we all got back together. And, once we did, it was like no time had passed. We might as well have been back in college hanging out in the crappy apartment we all lived in together.
I'm not fishing for condolences with this comment. I just wanted to share something that I think illustrates the weird poignancy that life occasionally throws at you unexpectedly. It's like there was this significant part of my existence that had long been dormant but suddenly woke up to take hold of me and become, at least for a time, the most important focus of my personal life.
I can't find the word for it, but it's something like "heady," only without the thrill, maybe with a bit of "mind-f**k" thrown in.
Job security is one of the attractive things about working for the government at a lower salary than you likely would in the private sector. So much for that.